This article topic was submitted to my inbox by request! So here it goes!
The age-old question -“Why do men cheat?” The number 1 answer? Because they are (excuse my language) douche bags! Just kidding! It takes a tad more explanation than this, although yes some of them are indeed _____ ____. 🙂 Number 2 answer? “Because his woman wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing.” That one really gets under my skin! We will explore that later though because sometimes, ladies, there are unique situations where we must take some personal responsibility.
The number 1 reason why I think men cheat? Because they enter into exclusive relationships when they are not ready to be exclusive/committed. If they were actually mature enough and ready to commit, then cheating would not be an issue! As I mentioned in previous articles, men become ready and capable of commitment at different times. So if you are wondering why your friends boyfriend is 5 years younger than your cheating man and he’s ready for commitment it’s because not all men are the same! (Did I actually just say not all men are the same? I did, because they are not! So stop saying that!) Ladies you should already know that its impossible to change a man. If you get into a relationship with a man who you know is not ready to be monogamous please don’t be surprised when you find out he’s been doing the hokey pokey with some trashy girl (isn’t it funny how the girls men cheat with are always below you on every chart?).
So why do men get into relationships with women if they are not ready to commit? You already know the answer! Because they are _____ ____ 🙂 Only selfish and immature men enter into a relationship under false pretenses. Not to say they may not actually like you etc. They may like you and see themselves with you, but they just aren’t ready to stop sampling all the appetizers. So naturally they do the ______ ___ thing: have their cake and eat it too! They enter into a relationship with a woman they want to guard against losing her, and then sleep around in secret. A mature man, a real man, will be honest with the woman he cares about and tell her he’s just not ready. Men – you would be surprised how many women out there would prefer to hear this rather than you entering into a relationship to either appease them or to keep them on a short leash, only to cheat on and hurt them. Not all women will give you the ultimatum of “all or nothing.” If you are honest, there are some women out there who may still allow you to be in their lives in some way shape or form, but at least they will have the facts to make that decision wisely because you have put everything on the table. Not only is it fair to them, its the right and honest thing to do. Women respect and appreciate honesty. Drake was wrong. Truth hurts sometimes, but lies don’t heal. They infect. I once asked a male friend why men get into relationships if they aren’t ready to be faithful. You want to know what his honest answer was? “Guaranteed sex on demand.” So there you have it. The ______ ___ behavior continues. Reality bites. (Men I’m not trying to bash you all with a hammer, keep in mind women are my main audience. Equal things could be said about female cheaters).
So what about temptation? Yes, it’s there. So what? If you care about and respect someone, if you value your relationship and take it seriously, you should be able and willing to avoid temptation. In my interview with one of Jamaica’s top dancers Chad “Global Bob” Torrington, his advice in terms of temptation was to avoid putting yourself in compromising situations. Example: your boyfriend doesn’t need to have movie nights with his ex girlfriend who is now his friend because they ended on “good terms.” Also, ladies please don’t brag so hard to your girlfriend how amazing and wonderful your boyfriend is. There are some lonely and desperate girls out there who will jump at the opportunity try and take or sabotage what you have. That girlfriend who is a little too friendly with your man, jumping at opportunities to hang out with him – yea you need to fall back from her. As much as you may trust your man, and as faithful as he may be to you, you don’t need those thoughts and ideas to even enter his psyche. Thirsty chicks deserve to be dehydrated. Trust me. It’s okay. Also, don’t take it out on your man when thirsty women show themselves. It’s not his fault morally repugnant women are walking the earth. As long as he’s not flirting back, just pat yourself on the back. You have something they want but can’t have.
Okay, so what about the fact that he’s a man, and he just can’t control himself. Please DO NOT buy into that. Read my article “Not all Men Cheat.” No one is perfect and people do make mistakes, but generally speaking, if a man loves you, he can damn well control himself. If he really doesn’t have any self-control then that may be something he needs to work out in therapy – he’s abnormal. Cut him loose.
He cheated because…..”His woman wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing.” Lets revisit that now. If she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing, then why the hell did you choose to remain in a relationship with her? If she was pushing you away with nagging or wasn’t satisfying you sexually or whatever it may be, why did you continue on in the relationship? If a man feels like he needs to cheat because he is unhappy or unsatisfied, he should try being a MAN and confronting his woman with his issues. If this fails, hmm then maybe END THE RELATIONSHIP. Duh! Ya think? Not rocket science really. “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” Why stick around and weave a bigger web to be tangled up in? Why hurt someone intentionally? Throw in the towel. Call it quits.
So I mentioned earlier that there are some situations where us women do have to take responsibility. Why do some men cheat? Because their women ALLOW them to! Yes. If you do not set standards and requirements for your man, if he is the wrong man, he will walk all over you. If you are dating a man who cheats on you multiple times and you take him back every single time – you are basically telling him its okay. He now knows that he can abuse you in any way he wants while fulfilling his own selfish desires and you will still stick around. You’ve accepted his behavior. You’ve condoned it. Ladies if you don’t respect yourself and love yourself enough to know you deserve more and are worth more, then how can a man see that in you or about you? You may hear it all the time, but its true, self-love has to come before any other type of love. If you are a believer, then ladies you MUST be sure of Gods unconditional and astronomic love for you. Once you are sure of that, you become certain of the type of love you deserve from a man.
If a man is blatantly cheating on you – like it’s all in your face – he doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t respect you or love you. Heck he’s probably a sadist. That is not love. What you take from a man is a direct reflection of how you see your self or how you value yourself. If a man can buy your affection back after he’s cheated on you – I’m talking men who shower you with gifts to win you back – then you are saying to him “I am superficial. I can be bought. I can be bought cheap.” No Gucci bag or diamond necklace should amount to your worth. Hold yourself at a higher standard. Looking at your relationship is like looking in the mirror. So make sure you like what you see, and if you don’t do something about it.
My final advice would be, if you catch yourself with a cheating man, DROP HIM and get a REAL MAN. Trust me, they do exist! “Don’t be a rock when you know you are a gem. Baby girl, respect is just the minimum.” -Lauren Hill.