As seen in the Jamaica Observer Newspaper
Women are given the disadvantage from the starting line. We are told fairy tales as children and subconsciously we grow up believing that one day, a prince or a knight in shining amour will ride in on a white horse, romance us, rescue us, and sweep us off our feet, and then ride off into the sunset with us towards happily ever after.
What people fail to realise is that the fairy tale comes later. If you are waiting or looking for a prince, you are going to be waiting for a very long time. From the looks of it, Prince Harry is way too busy having a wicked time to be concerned with riding in on a white horse to rescue you, and chances are the glass slipper is not going to fit your foot. Sorry to break it to you, you are going to probably have to marry a regular man.
It’s silly to say, ‘I will never settle’, because in a way we all settle. Loving unconditionally involves settling. I’m not saying don’t have standards, standards are important, but it’s also important to realise that we all have flaws and love involves accepting someone in spite of those flaws. We all settle in some way, shape or form, so love 80 per cent of someone and be willing to work with the 20 per cent you are not too crazy about. The perfect man does not exist!
We also need to let go of this idea of a never-ending honeymoon. Love is when the make-up comes off, the front comes down, and the person just becomes a regular human being, and you still appreciate them. When you can take down all the walls and masks you put up for society and be yourself, that is when you are on the path to happily ever after.
So many people use the word love in vain. You love him because he’s handsome, he has stature, he has money. That is not love. There is a big difference between infatuation and love, which is something mothers need to spend more time explaining to their daughters. Infatuation is superficial. It’s a spell cast on us, a high that eventually wears off. When that spell wears off you may be left wondering what the heck you were thinking.
What you create with the person you love is the happily ever after. It’s not called magic, it’s called commitment. It’s called for better or for worse. You build up that castle together from a solid foundation of love.