He’s just not that into you? DING! DING! DING! Some common sense reminders.

As seen in the Jamaica Observer Newspaper

I hate to see women turn fools over man. We are all guilty of this! Every time your phone beeps or flashes red, you run to it with uncontrollable excitement HOPING it’s him, then you are vexed when it’s your girlfriend! Your phone is your lifeline you can’t survive without it. You visit his facebook page regularly to browse through his photos or look at girls pages that comment on his pictures, aka stalk him. You make passionate love to your phone on the dance floor because he is texting you. We get all giddy and bubbly eyed and sometimes it clouds our judgment. We read way too deeply into things and at times delude ourselves into believing something is there when its clearly not.

There are some basic things about men we seem to forget. If a man wants a woman, there is nothing that is going to stop him from going after her. A man who WANTS to be with you will take you out. He will put in the effort to court you. If a man is really into you, you will meet his friends and you will go out in public together, and you will be on his arm!

When we really like someone our common sense may go out the window. We ignore obviously negative signs or we make excuses for them when they are not up to par.

STOP making excuses for him! He hasn’t called you in a week so you make up some reason “oh he’s really busy this week with exams.” No matter what is going on in a man’s life, if he wants to talk to you and wants you to be a part of your life he will. If he doesn’t call, it should just make it easier for you to cut him loose, not hunt him down.

Never assume a man loves you. Especially if he’s never told you! When he tells you, THEN you can consider the possibility. Ever hear yourself talking to your friends and realizes you are making your relationship with a guy seem way more significant than it really is? It easier to believe things are perfect and he loves you than to face the truth, so you stay stuck there in that delusion.

STOP reading so deeply and over analyzing! “He kissed my forehead! Does it mean he’s in love with me?” No. He could have very well kissed you on your left big toe rather than your forehead. “What does it mean when he says ‘I hope I get to see you this weekend’?” Does it mean he really wants to see me? Should I cancel all my plans in case he asks to see me?” NO. STOP making yourself readily available and stop reading so deeply!

Men spend way less time reading into your text messages and zero brainpower sending texts. They don’t think about how you are going to interpret it! To them it means exactly what it says. “I hope I get to see you this weekend.” Whatever happens from there happens.

STOP planning your wedding! Stop imagining what your future children will look like! Please don’t write his last name after your first name! While you see wedding bells, men haven’t even seen past the first date yet. Either that or you see wedding bells and he sees you in thong. They don’t think longevity. Take it day by day. Cruise, but don’t speed. Men feel safer that way.

How much time does he spend getting to know you, and how much time does he spend getting to know your body? There really are no shades of grey when it comes to men, because ACTIONS speak LOUDER than WORDS. I think women are guilty of choosing to see shades of grey, creating shades of grey, or becoming complacent in the shades of grey men create because it’s just easier to see it in grey than to see it in living color. Some men are players, just be smart enough not to get played! Watch his actions.

It’s usually pretty obvious what a man’s intentions are from the start. Women sometimes just twist things to fit their own needs. To him it’s casual sex and to you you’re dating. If he doesn’t see you the way you want him to, don’t sweat it. Women sit around for hours scrutinizing themselves! Wondering WHY he doesn’t want you, what you could do differently. It’s NOT you! You could be the most wonderful woman, if he cant see that, its just not meant to be. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. You guys just aren’t a match.

The biggest advice I can give young girls is DO NOT let your happiness depend on a man or having a man in your life. Focus on you and don’t sit around worrying about him. I rather focus on bettering myself, and my own happiness than stress over a man. I can guarantee that he is not worrying about what you are doing every second of the day. Don’t ever put a man before yourself. The only man who should come before you is GOD.

Not every relationship is meant to work out. There is a saying “one day you will meet someone who will make you realize why it didn’t work out with anyone else.” It’s true! You may think he’s so great and hes so “the one.” Well if you think that and it doesn’t work out, image all that you were feeling times 500. God has someone that much greater out there for you.

Two images come to mind. The scene in “Wedding Crashers” where Isla Fisher says to Vince Voughn”Don’t ever leave me! Because if you do, I’ll find you!” And the video for Pink’s song “Please doesn’t leave me.” Scary! A guy I know once said that the best way to get a man is to “remain neutral.” Ever hear the saying “watch pot nuh boil?” You will just sit there and have your face steamed off. Back up. If it’s supposed to boil, it will boil. If it doesn’t then get out there and see what else is cooking!

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Categories: Jamaica Observer, Life, Relationships/Love

Tags: , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. I agree, for the most part, except I do I re read text before I send them 2 someone i care about and I put effort into to that person text (spellcheck, thesarus et al).

    But i do remember being nonchalant sometimes, so ur prolly rite.
    And wen my relationships goes downhill, I do feel like its my lost, but then I realise naah, its my gain, cuz then if I had invested more time and energy, I wud’ve prolly taken it way harder than this. So its better better to be broken wen its molding than wen it’s cemented.
    Some men care.

  2. Nice article…..Hey…Have you ever considered approaching a news paper, a magazine, or radio with the idea of a weekly column?…….You got what it takes…

  3. Thank you!!! Yea I have thought about it! I am going to try!

  4. Dam skippy girl!!!

  5. This is a great post and so very true! I just posted up a similar post yesterday check it out here: http://wp.me/p2c2n5-1M!

  6. “STOP reading so deeply into things and STOP over analyzing things!”

    niiice read!

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