Time is both my best friend and my enemy. It’s so true. I mean she’s great in the sense that she can erase things like heart ache, pain of loss, embarrassing moments, etc. Yet she’s such a trickster! You close your eyes or get distracted for two minutes and she swallows up 2 years. Two timing….LOL. Carpe Diem! Carpe Diem! So cliche! But I am soooo learning what it means and why it’s so important to seize the day! Someone recently told me that I chase rainbows. Rather than telling them where to shove it I said to myself in my head “well I’m gonna collect whole a lot of skittles and taste those rainbows!” Seriously I hope I gain 20 pounds and collect 6 cavities from chasing rainbows and maybe even lose a few teeth! Trust me it will be worth it!
I’m 26 years old and there are a million things I still want to do in life. People ask me when I’m going to “settle down,” and I mean settle down as get in the mind set that I am going to work to save to buy a house, get married, and have some kids blah blah. I am not setting myself in that mind set. I don’t think we can. You just have to let life happen sometimes. Someone once told me that they are “cruising” and I so totally liked how that was put. So I’m cruising. Yep I’m cruising. Maybe someone will come along and we’ll cruise together, hey that’s cool, but I’m not thinking about things I’m just letting them happen. Life really is short. Especially after 21. It’s not just something people say. The years really do fly by. Well hey guess what I am choosing to take the path less traveled. I am choosing the once in a life time adventure and experience because I rather fall over and sprain an ankle running after rainbows then sit around wishing from my window that I was where they were.
I have learned some very important things since finishing graduate school….You have to have to have to have to follow your heart and believe in your dreams even if they suck! Even if they are pipe dreams, you HAVE to believe in them. You really don’t need anyone to believe in you but YOU. It’s a very miserable thing to not believe in yourself or your dreams. More importantly you MUST live your life for YOURSELF. Let the by standers be by standers and smile at the paparazzi. Nor do you have any obligation to tell anybody your plans. Sometimes things are better kept to yourself. Don’t let disapproving looks, eye rolling, or whatever negative thing somebody wants to say get you down. Do what you say you wanna do! You don’t NEED anybody’s approval! No ones! Just your own! As long as you aren’t afraid to work hard you are good to go! There is nothing you cannot achieve that you pray for. God will work it out some way or another. Sometimes you just have to throw “practical” out the window or at least tell him to shut the heck up and sit down in the back seat so “do-able” can ride shot gun! What is life if we don’t take chances? Make every moment count.
I know one thing and that is this: when I am 80 90 100 years old I don’t want to look back and say “I wish I…..” I would rather look back and say “Man I was so young and foolish when I…” and then laugh a good laugh about it! I am not a superficial person. I’m not frightened by money or bling. I’m just a very dorky girl with a great sense of humor with a lot of ideas. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, going through a quarter life crisis, being confused about exactly what I wanted, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do etc. Then one day it just dawned on me that I don’t have to know. Like I said in that post on my quarter life crisis, have a blueprint but don’t draw it in permanent marker. I have a blueprint. It took me realllllly long to draft it. The most important part of that blue print right now is the dormer window that I recently sketched in last minute. It even looks like the most important thing on my blueprint because it’s the most recently drawn in thing 🙂 That window is like the most amazing thing to me lately. You can leave it open at all times rain, snow, or shine! I like it so much because I feel like in life as time moves quickly windows close quickly. With this window I can’t miss a thing because it never has to be closed! I can see all the rainbows I want to catch! I can see the moon I’m after and the stars that will catch me if I don’t quite make it to the moon.
I am not just chasing rainbows. I am simply collecting skittles. I am tasting life. All it’s different colors and all it’s different flavors. I’m not the fastest runner in the world, but I’ve trained myself how to breathe while I run. I’ve trained myself to stop when needed and savor things. How to make time stand still for a moment. How to take mental pictures. If you have never listened to the song “Good Life” by One Republic please please do. One of my patients played that song in a music therapy group and I fell in love. So to all my fellow rainbow chasers, this has GOT to be the good life. I will see you at the pot of gold! 🙂